I feel like a dairy cow today. Lucy loves her milk, but after almost 8 months of nursing it's starting to get a little... old. Especially when I trotted up the stairs today to pull my two formal dresses out of the closet, the only two I have, the two that I bought for a couple of occasions we went to before we got married. I was so excited about the upcoming formal, organized by the students for the end of the year. Looking forward to getting all dressed up again after losing all that baby weight. I still pulled it out with trepidation, though, wondering if I would have to eat "light" for the next week until the event. But no amount of eating light will fix this problem. Both dresses fit beautifully. Hug my hips, fall perfectly around my ankles. Until you get to the... um... top. That area where nothing fits when you're nursing a baby. No amount of poking, prodding or adjusting would work. I'm just not proportionate. Period. It's not going to happen.
Let me add that this was the formal event that I planned my trip to Texas around and booked a more expensive plane ticket a day later so I could be here for it.
I guess we can cancel the babysitter now. I can't afford a new dress, so it looks like Mommy gets to stay home with Lucy while I send always-the-same-size-no-matter-what Hubs out in his handsome, black suit to dance alone.
Sigh. Pardon me while I go pout and eat my weight in brownies and ice cream. There's nothing to stay skinny for now, anyway.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
heatwave
It's hot in the Mommyhood today. Temperatures soared near 90 degrees. We don't have AC on our 2nd floor, and we're refusing to turn on the AC on the first floor in April, so we're braving it out with the windows open and the fans going. Lucy loves it, actually, because she's been allowed to run around in her diaper or in a onesie for the last couple of days. The wave ends in storms tomorrow, though, and then it's back in the 50's for the rest of the week through the weekend.
Personally, I haven't minded the heat so much. There has been a cool wind blowing, and there is something about laying in bed with a cool wind blowing across you that makes you feel very alive.
Murry has been moving from one spot on the floor to another, sprawling out and trying to get cool. Hubs has been itching from head to toe because his rash is exacerbated by heat.
Happy Spring!
Personally, I haven't minded the heat so much. There has been a cool wind blowing, and there is something about laying in bed with a cool wind blowing across you that makes you feel very alive.
Murry has been moving from one spot on the floor to another, sprawling out and trying to get cool. Hubs has been itching from head to toe because his rash is exacerbated by heat.
Happy Spring!
Friday, April 2, 2010
dealing?
I have an unusual method of dealing with emotional stress. I don't.
On the evening of December 1, 2009, my Grandaddy left to meet Jesus face to face. I cried most of the night after Dad called, and threw myself wholeheartedly into packing to leave for Texas a few days early so we could make the service. I cried in "bursts" on the 27 hour drive, but mostly I took care of Lucy and played the alphabet game with Hubs.
I went to the service and focused on being strong for everybody in my family. Hubs was broken out really bad, too, so I told myself that I had to be strong for him. He didn't need my emotional drama. Didn't shed a tear the whole service. Cried a little on the way back to my in-laws, where we were staying for the night. Threw myself into visiting with my mother-in-law and taking care of my precious girl.
Spent the following weeks up until Christmas helping my parents unpack their new house. Basically killing myself everyday, working hard to keep my mind off of my grief. I needed to be strong for Mom and Grandmama. What time I wasn't with them I was being strong for Hubs and his miserable, debilitating skin so he, again, wouldn't have to deal with my emotional drama. He's onto me, though, and keeps making me talk about it. Infuriating man.
Made it through the holidays basically tearless. Drove 27 hours home. January, February, March... Feelings of heaviness and a sadness I can't really shake, figure it's probably a little postpartum blues. But my sleep doesn't lie. Dreams invade my subconscious of a smiling, happy Grandaddy who is peeking around the corner from his chair to see me when I come in the door of their house with a "There she is!" like he always greeted me.
Three days ago I was watching A Baby Story for a little break in my day, when unexpectedly the new mom on the show had her grandparents over to see her new baby girl. The minute her grandfather held his new great-granddaughter, I burst into tears. Suddenly I'm dealing with it.
I guess I can't say I didn't have it coming.
On the evening of December 1, 2009, my Grandaddy left to meet Jesus face to face. I cried most of the night after Dad called, and threw myself wholeheartedly into packing to leave for Texas a few days early so we could make the service. I cried in "bursts" on the 27 hour drive, but mostly I took care of Lucy and played the alphabet game with Hubs.
I went to the service and focused on being strong for everybody in my family. Hubs was broken out really bad, too, so I told myself that I had to be strong for him. He didn't need my emotional drama. Didn't shed a tear the whole service. Cried a little on the way back to my in-laws, where we were staying for the night. Threw myself into visiting with my mother-in-law and taking care of my precious girl.
Spent the following weeks up until Christmas helping my parents unpack their new house. Basically killing myself everyday, working hard to keep my mind off of my grief. I needed to be strong for Mom and Grandmama. What time I wasn't with them I was being strong for Hubs and his miserable, debilitating skin so he, again, wouldn't have to deal with my emotional drama. He's onto me, though, and keeps making me talk about it. Infuriating man.
Made it through the holidays basically tearless. Drove 27 hours home. January, February, March... Feelings of heaviness and a sadness I can't really shake, figure it's probably a little postpartum blues. But my sleep doesn't lie. Dreams invade my subconscious of a smiling, happy Grandaddy who is peeking around the corner from his chair to see me when I come in the door of their house with a "There she is!" like he always greeted me.
Three days ago I was watching A Baby Story for a little break in my day, when unexpectedly the new mom on the show had her grandparents over to see her new baby girl. The minute her grandfather held his new great-granddaughter, I burst into tears. Suddenly I'm dealing with it.
I guess I can't say I didn't have it coming.
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